Metaphors
Linda[to Ted]: I got to go. I gotta meet Don at the Who Cares What People Think Cafe. Where if someone sees something that they want, they just have it, and it’s the best thing they’ve ever had. Because that meal’s been practicing yoga for seven years. In case you missed it, by “that meal” I mean me. I’m bad at metaphors, but I’m great at sex.
… and now we weep openly for the demise of quality shows such as Better Off Ted, Arrested Development and many others…
“You’ve been in the same relationship your entire life. You don’t know who you are alone.”
“I think you need to take some time to reintroduce yourself to yourself. You just finished being somebody’s husband, and that didn’t really work out. And now you’re running off to be somebody’s boyfriend? Seems to me you need to take a little breather.
Look, That hair, that dimple, that Terrible clunker you drive– I think you’re about the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. Here’s my number. When you get things sorted out, give me a call.”
From Glee, S01E14 “Hell-O”
Just struck a chord with me. Pun intended.
Autotrader fails at Tweeting
Bored on Twitter, I searched for my local city, Shepherdsville. Scrolling by the cloud of FourSquare check-ins and such, I see a neat idea. Autotrader says that a one Eric, has an Audi for sale in Shepherdsville.
To which my mind says, “Go on.. Tell me more…”
No where in this tweet is there a link to the actual ad. Fail. #fail #epicfail #duh. Took a swing, missed by a mile. Drop the “Eric Y. is selling a” line and just give me a link. Like so:
FS: 2005 Audi A4 (Shepherdsville, KY) http://atrdr.we/43874
Ta-da! I’m a genius! (back-pat) Did I also mention that I’m available for hire? Find me on LinkedIn!
Daydreaming
I’ve always heard that books can take you anywhere. Maybe that’s true for some, but I never got into that imagination part of reading fiction.
However, the internet on the other hand… Well, the internet has given me the ability dream about just about anything your mind can conjure up. From love and wild, passionate crazy sex that I’ll probably never have; or about murder and mayhem, crazy bank robberies and high speed police chases. Again, these are all things that I will probably never ever do; However, I’m still holding on to the sex dreams though…
The internet has allowed me to meet people who have irrevocably changed my life in a number of ways. Some of these people are right across town; people that despite our proximity, it’s unlikely that we would have ever met. Some are from much further away, in different states or countries. Some I have met, some I’ve partied with, Some not so much.
With that, comes the inevitable. Love. Crushes. Emotions. Some people I’ve met on the internet I’ve fallen in love with. Enamored, even. This seems to increase when things in my “real life” are not as I might expect or want them to be. Then you fall into the daydreaming.. You know, a lotta ins, lotta outs, lotta what-have-yous; as the dude would say. Of course, I don’t think any of these people ever knew that I carried a torch for them. I am that guy in that movie, watching from a distance, just daydreaming about what could be. How life could be, if things were different.
“The grass was greener
The light was brighter
The taste was sweeter
The nights of wonder”
– Pink Floyd, “High Hopes”
Not really sure what my point was with this post. Just something I needed to say. That I’ve dreamed of running off to some far away place to have an amazing sexual tryst, the most amazing conversations ever and convert to hedonism with some girl I met on the internet. Something like that. Probably the same thing my grandma was doing with all those paperback romance novels. Stacks of them.
Mustang 302 vs The world.
The folks over at Top Gear asked on Twitter this morning about the new Ford Mustang Boss 302, and if we thought it was faster than the European sports cars, as Ford claims.
Try as I may, I couldn’t come up with something succinct enough to fit in 140 characters, so I thought I’d jot down a little something here.
Do I think this car is faster than the M3? Yes, probably. The normal 5.0 liter (litre, for my brit friends) car was almost as fast as the previous M3. I think it was Road and Track or Car and Driver that tested the two side by side.. They concluded that despite the M3 winning in the road course sections of the test and winning overall, never had a loss felt so much like a win for the Mustang. There was also the some $20,000 price difference between the two, meaning you could go buy another Mustang with the difference, albeit a V6 model.
The new car had an ass-ton more power, and is all around more sorted out. I have to admit, reading TG’s article, I had to chuckle when they mentioned that the gear box was just upgraded to be stronger than the stock unit, when Jalopnik is reporting that the stock boxes are failing frequently, and Ford has no fix for them. So like.. what’s going on there? So with all that power and all the glittering prizes, it’s safe to say that the 302 is a serious contender. I’ll be interested to see if TG UK can do a straight review of this, since I know they are rather hard on USDM vehicles, especially ones with live axles under the rear.
That said, even if the Mustang beats all the Euro cars, at the end of the day… You’re still driving a Mustang. Here in Louisville, Mustangs are as ubiquitous as beige Toyota Camry’s. Ask pretty much anyone, and they can name a friend or family member who owns some sort of Mustang. There’s just not really anything special about them. There’s also so many special edition, limited number, yaddi yaddi yaddi Mustangs that even that isn’t special. Maybe the Boss 302 is different, maybe it’ll be the crown jewel in a crowded selection of cars. But I doubt it.
Through all of that, I almost bought a base GT early last year. I backed out since the 5.0 was coming (was the last of the 4.6 cars) and the base car is blah in terms of features… but it was still a nice car, and it seemed to drive well.
I’d still rather have a Porsche.. you know, if money was not a factor.
That shit was unseemly, man!
Just finished watching all 5 seasons of “The Wire” last night. Took about 2 weeks to work through it, and in that time, I didn’t just watch that exclusively. Being unemployed has afforded me a considerable amount of leisure time. I just can’t say enough great things about the show. Underneath it’s harsh urban ghetto-ness is a show that most people just can’t grasp. The level of detail and the manner in which all things are connected within the show is just amazing. I could start back at Season 1, Episode 1 and pick up things I missed in previous viewings.
Just a couple of videos. I could post these all day, but whatever.
Charlie Brooker explains why The Wire is the best TV show of the last 20 years.
The Bigger The Lie…
My Favorite Commerical…
in a long time, and I don’t even give two flying shits about baseball…
So, this is my life..
Found on flickr, looking for something else… Some very interesting others here.
I was actually looking for something, this lyric from Mumford and Sons.. Something that’s been running through my head for a couple of days.
“Love it will not betray you.
Dismay or enslave you, it will set you free.
Be more like the man you were made to be.”
Fun with Referers and Search Terms…..
For most people, I’m the guy who creates odd entries in your access logs.. However, I was looking at my stats for the month, and what do I find.. but someone hit my site with the following search terms:
“what does it mean when you give a guy a hummer”
LOL! Somehow, this person ended up viewing my site, despite Urban Dictionary likely being the #1 result for that query. Who knows.
If you’re looking it up, you probably already have a sinking suspicion that Hummer may or may not be slang for a Blowjob. Let me go ahead and confirm that. Yeah.
Oh man.
The rest of my life..
I frequently find myself wanting to write things here. However, due to a number of known unknowns, I refrain from expressing myself. The known unknowns, that is.. the things that we know we don’t know, are who might read this.
Alas, most days I sit around wanting to scream things from the hillside, but I don’t know who might hear me. So instead, I end up posting things on FB or Twitter. Inane things, things that don’t matter. My posts here, subjugated to my own mind.. leaving nothing but music videos, and mindless drivel.
This would all be fine, if I was some sort of writing mastermind. If I had some sort of awesome prose; an ability to wax intellectual about nothing at all. Alas, that is not part of my makeup.
So, in that, situation, What is one to do? Fuck it.
In any event, I do have a video for you. I forget from time to time how much I really like Less Than Jake. This song, along with another, really strike a chord with me.